Love & Fear
Courage is knowing not to fear – Plato
How you love yourself is how you teach others to love you – Rupi Kaur
Angela is feeling blue. She doesn’t know she is feeling blue. She has forgotten what it is like to be in love with herself. Angela has children with George. George is so busy working that he can’t see that Angela is feeling unwanted and unloved. George takes to further work because he is not busy enough and he is concerned that she will need him emotionally. He cannot do this because she has always been the emotional support in all aspects of their life. His expectations were not aligned with what she wants which is actually to show the love he feels for her.
George uses the toothpaste and leaves it thrown on the bathroom side. His clothes are miraculously washed and his bed is made. His social calendar is set and the children are well looked after. But he doesn’t like it when Angela carries out what she loves to do. He spends hours trying and coaxing her into looking into an alternative career field that he believes is far more lucrative. George cannot see what Angela brings and really he fears the other side of love, which is for him abandonment. He has a belief and has been told he did too good; so instead of trying to make it work. He continues to take, take and take. For him, it is easier to take then to give; as he believes he is giving enough with the freedom he offers his wife.
Angela is in fear of what she would have to give up to achieve her goals, her dreams. She knows that her love for him will not last forever and her love for herself is running dry. She is starting to feel bitter and resentful towards him and even others around her. The material goods are not working, the attention at work is not felt and the fear she feels when the relationship will be over is what is killing her. So much so, that her lower back in painful, she cannot sleep well and she feels anxious and is in constant turmoil about possible bad news.
It is obvious that Angela and George unison has long stopped working. Along the way, they stopped communicating, perhaps one was controlling via finances and the other via the social calendar. Knowing that too much time with the other would mean that the cracks would appear even more. There is still a chance for the couple if they are willing to rekindle that love that felt for one another. If they can put aside their feelings of fear, anger and frustration with love, dedication and forgiveness they could create an even more solid relationship. However, often salvation of a relationship has long passed; as our actions towards one another has thwarted and killed the love for the other person.
There are signs that can be easily recognised. When will you act upon those?
Mary Panwaskar offers coaching with the mind, body connection.